The Break Up Letter

I was poking around on some social networking site when I saw an idea I thought was phenomenal!!!  It suggested writing a break up letter to your fat...now that sounds comical initially, but when you think about it that could be absolutely powerful.  We, we meaning women lol, often go through this ceremonious process of getting closure from exes...why not do the same thing with unwanted weight?  They're both baggage that you no longer want to carry around.  This process is also cathartic in allowing you to understand what has been holding you back from doing what's best for you.  We often go on tangents to let our exes know what went wrong in relationships and we need to have that same attitude towards unwanted weight.  I encourage you sit down, be alone with your thoughts and take the time to write your unwanted weight an overdue Dear John letter.  I want to share mine with all of my Lovies out there...hoping it motivates you to do the same.

Dear Fat;

We've been partners in crime since I can remember.  I have always been chunky, chubby...let's just be honest, I was the fat kid.  Not only was I big but I was also tall.  This made it hard to hide and believe me people never let me.  For years, whenever I walked into a room I felt like the spotlight was on me...and not for good reasons. There could be a hundred  people in the room but for some reason I was the one everyone found to make fun of.  For whatever reason I just took it...because somehow I felt like I deserved it.  As I got older, I embraced who I was more but it still spawned other insecurities. People would take pictures of me and after seeing them I would go home and cry.  Was this the way I looked to others?  I tried getting rid of you, MULTIPLE times, but I didn't think I was worthy of letting you go.  As I sit here 120 lighter, I bid you adieu because I thought I would die with you still apart of me.  I let you keep me from living my life, but that is no more.  I let you keep me from being loved the way I deserved to be loved but that is no more.  Fat, I say goodbye to you and every piece of negativity you manifested in my life.  I will always remember you because I must remember where I came from so that I don't return.  I understand that you will always be in my life, but no longer will you control my life.  This is my break up letter to you and I end it with saying farewell.

Afternoon Lovies!!!  I finally took some initiative and linked all of my random entities together to make navigation easier...in other words I finally linked my Pinterest account with my blog, lol.  That way you can look at all my amateur pics and then with a simple click grab the recipe off my blog amongst other things.  I'm really excited about this and welcome all of the new company this will ensue!!!  It gets a bit lonely feeling like I'm talking to myself, lol.  

http://pinterest.com/tasteawythepnds/

That's the link...it should be live but if it isn't copying and pasting should work.  :):):)

Seafood Pasta

I'm back Lovies...and armed with a delicious recipe.  Yesterday, I was poking around Instagram and saw a plate that made me absolutely hungry, lol.  So, as usual, my wheels started turning and the next thing I knew I was at the produce market picking up ingredients to make this wonderful seafood pasta.  It was soooooooo good and took less than 30 minutes to put together.

This was the finished product with a side of sauteed spinach...I like to bulk up my veggies as much as I can

 One of my favorite parts of cooking is prep work.  I like to get my cutting board, knives, all of my ingredients, turn on my music and just get in the zone...it's so relaxing to me

Sauteing one shallot, 2 stalks of green onion, 6 tomato berries (same thing as grape or cherry tomatoes), parsley, one cherry pepper and 2 cloves of garlic in some olive oil.  

 Once the veggies softened, I added half a cup of white wine.  I like to add it first so that some of the alcohol can cook off.  

 Next, I added a fourth of a cup of low sodium chicken broth and the juice from half a lemon to build the sauce.

 I added three SMALL pats of unsalted butter to give the sauce a velvety texture and to help it adhere to the pasta better by giving it some viscosity.  It also makes it taste good, lol

 As the sauce began to simmer it was time to add the herbs and seasonings.  This is up to your taste.  This particular day I added some dried basil, herbs de provence, kosher salt, coarse ground pepper and red pepper flakes.

 Then it was time for the seafood.  I added 6 little neck clams first.  I covered the skillet with a lid until the clams opened.  Then I added a fourth of a pound of scallops and raw shrimp.  I allowed it to simmer for about 7 minutes until everything was about cooked through.

As I was preparing the sauce, I boiled some whole grain linguine and once it was al dente I added it to my sauce and let it simmer for a few minutes to finish cooking and absorb some of that sauce.  

This is the finished product.  I would like to note that I did remove the clams from the shells because I'm weird about accidentally chewing on shells while enjoying my vittles...but if you're into presentation, feel free to leave them whole.  

And this is it!  It was VERY good and warmed up very well the next day for lunch.  The seafood was cooked perfectly, not rubbery or tough.  The lemon was just enough to brighten up all of the flavors without being overpowering.  It was herbaceous and savory...trust me it was good, lol.  Hope you guys enjoy and remember to progress not perfection! 

Be My Guest....

While I try to catch up on what's been going on in my life this past month, lol.  So many things to share...I'll try and condense it as much as possible.  So, here it is:

1.  My 30th birthday.  I finally entered the 3rd decade and I must say I ENJOYED myself!!!  I had three separate celebrations and by the time the last one came I was POOPED, but of course there were a series of events that led up to it...this IS my life of course.  The day after my birthday, which was on a Wednesday, that Thursday I had to have outpatient surgery.  I get home and my leg decides that it had enough work and it was taking a vacation.  I went to the ER at 10:30 pm where there was a 10 hour wait.  I finally saw a doctor around 3 am who gave me 2 vicodin for the pain.  I got home at 5:30 am went to sleep to wake up at 7:30 am to go to dialysis.  Yea.  Came home around 2:30 pm and could NOT sleep and went out for my birthday dinner around 7:30 pm.  Got home at midnightish and had the sweetest slumber I've known, lol.  I've never felt SOOOOOOO loved on my birthday and had so many people reach out to me.  Easily the best birthday ever.

2.  I reached the biggest weight loss goal of my life and said ta ta to the 300's.  I can't remember a time in my life where I wasn't in the 300's.  At my highest weight I was around 420.  To see that 2 was gratifying but also scary.  My biggest fear is that this weight will find its way back.  I will grow complacent and forget everything that I've learned because staying fit is "too hard".  While I know I can only take it one day at a time, these thoughts do sit in the back of my mind.

3.  I got an offer to be a guest blogger for a great website/blog about self-actualization and finding your identity.  I'm over the moon excited about it and can't wait to share more info with you once I get it, lol

4.  I got a haircut...I'm pretty ambivalent about it.  I know that it was necessary and it's really cute but my hair hasn't been this short since 1946...it will take some getting used to.

5.  I made homemade Chicken Vino Bianco last night and I shedded a tear.  To know that one of my most favorite dishes is no longer banned from my diet, words can't describe.  Of course I tweaked it some to make it healthy...I have pics so I can do a recipe blog

6.  Typing all of this out like this, as sort of a vent, is feeling really cathartic right now.  Today I had a BUNCH of stimulus and it had me feeling all over the place emotionally.  I've never mentioned this before, but I have anxiety and panicking issues.  Days, like today, when there seems to be a million different things going in a billion different directions are really hard for me to process and just be vulnerable to.  Keeping all this inside makes me feel worse so to feel like I'm releasing it...it's like I can breathe again.

7.  Lucky seven...I'll share the biggest news here.  Last week, well actually the week before last but who has time for particulars lol, I had an appointment with the transplant team.  I was meeting with the transplant nephrologist and social worker just to see if  I'd lost enough weight to start taking tests so once I got to my goal weight I could FINALLY be listed.  I'll save you all the rambling details, but long story short the transplant team decided I am an operable size and as of last Monday I AM OFFICIALLY LISTED FOR A TRANSPLANT!!!!!!  I know that it's nothing but the favor of God that did it.  I don't know if I can convey the MAGNITUDE of what has happened, but honey believe me IT'S BIG!  Furthermore, after I lose a few more pounds they're going to send me to have a tummy tuck...and my insurance will pay for it!!!  Tell me God ain't good, lol.  A kidney and flat abs, yes please!  I feel so blessed.  What meant the most to me was to see the reaction when I told my trainer.  I knew he cared, but he truly is just as invested in this as I am.  God has put some AWESOME people in my life and my prayer is to never take them for granted and always make them proud.

I think that's about it.  I promise not to stay away so long again but as you see March had a lot going on!  This weekend I'm going away with my Mom to get some MUCH needed rest and do some MORE needed shopping, lol.  I only have 3 pairs of pants that fit, but I'm not complaining...at all.  I have TONS of pics to share, including food pics with recipes.  I know you guys are going to love some of my newest creations...until we meet again...Be Healthy Lovies :)