Carpe Diem

I'm sitting here watching one of my absolute favorite movies, Last Holiday with Queen Latifah. For those who haven't seen it the premise is that she lives an ordinary, routine life aside from her passion for recreating 5-star restaurant cuisines. She's diagnosed with a terminal illness and given a mere few weeks to live. She digs out her "book of possibilities" and travels to the Czech Republic to dine in her fav chef's restaurant and live the rest of her days the way she always should have…enjoying life and not worrying about tomorrow. She changes the lives of those around her and does things that most people only dream about and comes to the revelation that next time around, she's going to have more fun and live outside of the box. She finds out that she was misdiagnosed and takes it as a sign that she is being given another chance at life and opens a restaurant and keeps living. I think that's it in a nutshell, lol. The irony of this is that moments after I posted my last blog, my aunt suddenly passed away. Literally 10-15 mins after I published that blog I got the phone call she wasn't well…before my mother and I could get to the hospital she was gone. So why is this pertinent to this blog? I'm glad you asked, lol
On my next birthday I will be 30 years old. Most of my 20's, and I do mean most, were spent living inside a box. I did what was expected of me. I went to school…got a degree…did the advanced degree thing…had a good job…love life was questionable but that's an entirely different blog, lol. I stayed at home close to my parents because that was safe and that's what good girls did. Inside, I was longing for so much more. More than anything I wanted to live. Not your typical 20 year old live though…clubs, parties and things of that nature weren't really my scene. I had friends but their ideas of fun weren't exactly parallel to mine. There was a WHOLE world out there and I wanted to make my mark and get some of it. So what stopped me? Me…not only am I painfully bashful but I was scared. I had that TERRIBLE disease of, "what will other people think?" So I just lived in my box, dying to get out of it. And then I got sick and staying in that box wasn't completely voluntary anymore. In those moments I begin to get frustrated with myself for taking for granted all of the memories I could have made, all of the opportunities I passed by, all the stories I would never be able to tell others because I got comfortable in that box. This is when I decided that I was going to start living. One of my favorite anecdotes is "Youth is wasted on the young" and it is so true! At the beginning of this year I told myself I was going to set a tone for the year by going out and actually celebrating New Year's Eve. By doing that I was starting a trend that this year I was going to have some new experiences…in other words I was going to get me some business.
To try and make this long story go away, life is short. Shorter than any of us realize. As adults we will have responsibilities and people that may depend on us to get things done day to day, but that shouldn't stop us from living. There is nothing worse than a case of the should of, would of, could ofs! I refuse to let my "illness" keep me from living. I may not be able to do everything I want to but there are still plenty of experiences I can have. Wake up one morning and take a walk and just take in God's majestic beauty that is nature. Go to a homeless shelter and volunteer. These things humble you and make you appreciate the things you may take for granted. I won't get on my soapbox, I have a tendency to, but my Dad got sick right after I did and I had to take care of him. That experience truly changed me as a person. There is nothing like being selfless for someone else to teach you the lesson that this life is not about you so seize the day and make your mark on the world!!! Martini in hand J