No Turning Back...

I think that's my theme for this year...I'm facing things head on and there's no turning back!

This is definitely about a year of changes for me.  I've been taking risks lately.  I've had long hair for the past 10 years.  Loooooonger hair for the past 5.  A simple trim of my ends would send me into tears, lol.  Last Tuesday, I walked into a new hair salon (I don't trust very many people to do my hair so this was also a risk), sat in the chair and told the stylist to cut all my hair off.  That's right.  No baby steps.  No inbetween cut...I cut it all off.  I didn't cry, I wasn't upset...it was actually freeing.  It felt good to step out my box and I LOVE my new haircut!  I look like a different me and I like it :)

Also in these changes, operation eliminate my butt in the front is in a little more than 24 hours.  I won't admit it to anyone but I'm scared y'all.  Going in that pre-op appointment...this is going to be a little more invasive than I anticipated.  I'll be hospitalized for a few days and yea...I just thought this was an easy, same day home kind of thing.  It's not, lol.  I just want to know what I will look like.  And to get past the pain...the mickey fickey pain because I KNOW this will separate the men from the boys.  Ay yi yi...I've asked myself no less than 20 times, "Baby, what have you gotten yourself into!?!" I know it's a blessing and in the end its the right thing and honestly I've worked VERY hard and earned this...but that doesn't make it any less scary.  It's funny, Thursday my trainer changed up my entire workout (he likes doing this often) and asked me "Do you remember when you were afraid of change?"  And it took me back to when we first met...Change still shakes me up a bit but now I face it head on without turning back...Some of my biggest accomplishments to date have been because despite what I felt, I allowed change to do what it's supposed to do...elevate me and make me stronger.  I'm trippin about this surgery now, but it's just another step on the ladder of change that's getting me closer to who I'm supposed to be.  So although I'm scared to death, I'm going to hold my head high, walk with authority and allow this change to be another notch in my belt.  

I'll be down for awhile but I will be around more during my recovery period.  I'm sure I'll have some overly emotional, dramatic posts to share with you since I will be stir crazy from sitting still which leads to senseless overthinking, lol.  For those who read my thoughts on a regular basis, thank you for taking this journey with me...it's been an interesting one to say the least.  I'll see you Lovies...slimmer and better than before!