Recipe Blog: Parm crusted chicken cutlet, roasted brussels sprouts and green onion smashed potatoes

Greetings Lovies!!!  I posted this on Facebook and got a few requests for the recipe soooooooo, here it tis!!!

A chicken cutlet crusted in parmesan breadcrumbs. Roasted brussels sprouts and green onion smashed potatoes.  

I'll try to keep this as brief as possible, lol.  I'll start with the chicken.  I purchased it in cutlets.  Essentially that means the butcher took a boneless, skinless chicken breast and cut it into two pieces.  That is absolutely something you can do yourself.  Usually you'll see people set up what they call "breading stations".  One thing you will learn about me is that I don't like dishes so I find very convenient ways of eliminating them, lol.  I used a piece of plastic wrap long enough to fit the length of my corner and was ready to groove.  At one end I took plain breadcrumbs, parmesan cheese (not the bottled variety), and dried italian herbs and mixed them thoroughly   Next, on the other side of the plastic wrap I dried the chicken cutlets off because if they're too moist the mustard won't adhere properly. I used a spoon to smear dijon mustard on the breast so that when I placed them in the breadcrumbs, the crumbs have something to stick to thus breading the cutlet evenly. If you don't have any dijon mustard or just don't have an affinity for it, you can use ranch dressing or something of the sort.  My system that was easiest was smearing one side, placing that side in the breadcrumbs, pressing firmly and then smearing the other side.  I encourage you to find a system that works best for you. (By using the plastic wrap when you're done you can just fold it up and throw it away, WINNING!) I made sure my chicken was nice and coated and then we face the task of cooking it.  You can place your breaded cutlets on a cookie sheet, spray both sides with non-stick spray and place in a 400 degree oven for about 15-20 mins and cook them that way to make it completely healthy.  Now, if you're looking to splurge a bit take a heavy bottomed skillet and get it smoking hot.  Add a couple of shakes of olive oil and sear that chicken until it develops a golden crust.  Flip it and then stick the skillet in a 400 degree oven for 10 mins.  It will be crunchy and succulent in  a way only frying can provide, lol. 

 Look at the golden, crispy goodness on that chicken!  And those brussels sprouts are roasted to perfection!

For the sides, I used the same mashed potato recipe from my previous blog, I just added green onions and a small dollop of dijon mustard to them.  For the brussels sprouts I sliced them in half, tossed them with olive oil, kosher salt, black pepper and Mrs Dash onion and herb blend.  Placed them cut side down on a non-stick sprayed cookie sheet.  You want to place them cut side down so while they're cooking that flat side can caramelize and get all types of good flavor.  Right before I put it in a 425 degree oven, I gave it a squeeze of fresh lemon juice.  As the sprouts cook they absorb that lemon juice and it takes them from tasty to spectacular.  How long you cook them depends on your taste.  I usually let my veggies go about 30 mins so that they can get a really deep flavor.  That's a basic roasting recipe I use for MANY of my veggies.  Broccoli, mushrooms, asparagus, carrots, zucchini, yellow squash...almost any firm veggie you can think of.  

That's pretty much it.  I wanted to note that I didn't season my chicken cutlets before breading them because you won't need it.  Dijon mustard is HIGHLY flavorful and seasoned.  The parm in the breadcrumbs is also salty so you don't need extra salt unless that's what your palate desires.  

A Little Bit of This...A Little Bit of That...

Lovies!!!!!  This post will probably be a bit spastic because that's how my brain is running tonight...I'll be SOOOOOO glad to get my treatment tomorrow so I can remember what normal feels like *rolls eyes*. Anyway, I synced a bunch of pics from my phone that I'd like to share...

Tuesday when I went in to take my photos, this was the sign that I saw and in that moment everything became real for me.

Wednesday is when FFC officially announced the winner...this was their Facebook post!  I usually can find a million things wrong with pictures of me...this picture I only found 4 things, lol

Last night I went out to celebrate my cousin's birthday...I thought I looked pretty cute, lol...well this was more of a check my makeup pic, lol

This pic was after I got home and I was still feeling myself...I looked at my arm and got almost emotional...do you see how there's no fat hanging!!!???!?!?!  And can you see my baby muscle trying to pop out!!!!?!?!?!!!  My hand looks THIN...I've had sausage hands my ENTIRE life, and to see these changes before my very eyes...I'm speechless

I wish I felt a bit better to add some more to this post.  I've been in the bed most of the day.  Sundays are usually a hit or miss day for me...because I'm going an extra day without dialysis my body and systems can start shutting down leaving me feeling like CRAP.  That's why when patients complain about having to come in and begin to skip treatments I just don't understand it.  I'm so grateful for dialysis...it's by no means an easy life but it's better than no life.  I'll gladly go in if it means feeling better and living longer.  Okay, okay, okay, no soapbox tonight, lol.  Tomorrow is The Biggest Loser...I'm sure I'll have some commentary.  Ta Ta Lovies <3

The Numbers Game...

Today was soooooooo awesome sauce!!!!  I took my "official" winner's pics for the contest!  While I'm not much of a picture person, I must say I enjoyed it today, lol.  I did my makeup, as I always do when I anticipate attention lol, and I must say, it came out A-Mazing!!!

Giving FACE, lol...I attempted to contour my nose for the first time...not too shabby, it looks like I actually have a bridge, lol

I can't wait to share my official pictures with you guys!  I was looking at my stats and I must say I am completely blown away that I've gotten the wee bit of traffic that I have because no one knows about this for the most part.  Let's me know that I need to keep on...and with that being said...

So, during this weight loss journey one of the most important things has been keeping myself encouraged.  That mean's keeping things around me that promote motivation and subtle reminders of why I'm doing this and where I want to be.  One of my biggest encouragements are People magazines Half My Size issues.  It started out being a new year issue but now they do them a few times a year.  I have almost every one in my possession and periodically I will sit in bed, compile them all and read through them.  These people are SOOOOOO inspirational.  When they say they've lost weight, some of these people have lost the amount of weight equivalent to an adult.  In this month's issue a woman lost 395 pounds...with no surgery!  That is an obese adult!  She did it following the Atkins diet and slowly working in exercise until she had a consistent regimen.  I've said this before...we live in a world that seeks instant gratification.  Which leads me to my next soapbox, lol.

The Biggest Loser.  I have such a love/hate relationship with this show.  A few years ago I SERIOUSLY considered applying.  I actually printed the 8239 page application and as I began filling it out I snapped back into reality and realized it was not a good idea for me.  This show is AWESOME in encouraging people to get off their butts and actually doing something about being unhappy about their weight...and I love them for that.  However, not only is it numbers driven it's not giving the contestants the opportunity to lose weight in a realistic environment.  Let me explain.  On the ranch they do nothing but exercise all day.  They're pushing their bodies and living in the gym for a weigh in that determines if they'll stay to do it all again the next day.  That devastating day comes when they are eliminated and they must return home and the results they had on the ranch aren't congruent to the results they have at home.  At home you can't just exercise for 8 hours a day.  At home you don't have a readily available refrigerator well-stocked with healthy food.  At home you don't have a trainer road mapping your day.  I understand the point of being on the ranch is to give you the tools to take home and continue this journey on your own but is that really realistic?  There is so much pressure to lose these astronomical amounts of weight in a short amount of time and when you get home and start losing a HEALTHY amount of weight within a HEALTHY time frame that has to mess with your psyche somehow.  

Then there is Jillian Michaels. Before I state my opinion, let me first say I really respect her and the dedication she has to helping other's get in shape and get healthy.  With that being said, I understand her approach is tough and in your face negating excuses...but that doesn't mean its not severe.  I can remember when I first started working out, I DRAGGED around the gym because this was completely new to me and I had to break my body in.  If my trainer had been anything like her, I would have certainly cussed him out and still be 120 pds away from a transplant.  

If you feel that desperate times call for desperate measures then yes, I understand the need to do something as drastic as The Biggest Loser but I will always advocate that making small changes and sticking with them will lead to making BIG changes and thus changing your LIFE!  This isn't about losing 200 pounds in 6 months.  You want to devise a plan so you can remain free from that 200 pounds for the rest of your life.  I don't plan on EVER being this big again in my life...kidney or no kidney.  Progress not perfection is the only thing I hold myself accountable to everyday and it's worked...now I challenge you to try it!!!  Tomorrow, park your car a little further and see if that small battle makes you feel like a winner...say no to that soda and have water instead and see how empowered you feel.  Remember, Progress not Perfection!

Lovies!!!!!  Today has been...interesting, lol.  I'll summarize it up by saying when you learn how not to let the things affecting those you love effect you then you are officially winning at life, lol.  In the midst of the confusion I managed to bang out a great dinner and compiled some other thoughts worth sharing...but first the food, lol

This was dinner...baked BBQ chicken (half of a breast and a thigh), roasted green beans and mushrooms and the star of this meal and reason for this post...THE MASHED TATERS!

Ermahgosh!!!!  These potaters, yes potaters, were life changing.  I've been craving mashed potatoes for weeks and restaurant potatoes either have too much sodium or way to much fat.  So, while the chicken was in the oven baking I realized I had some baby yukons in the fridge but no milk so my gears began moving.  I always keep low sodium chicken broth and while that makes an okay mashed potato I was looking to elevate it.  Then I saw my secret weapon...the key ingredient that was going to take my potatoes and make them potaters.  I'm going to tell you how I made them and reveal the secret ingredient that will change how you look at russets.

I cubed up about 10 baby yukon gold potatoes and boiled them in salted water.  When they were fork tender I drained them and began the mashing process with a hand masher just to get things going.  I then added about half a cup of chicken broth and continued mashing until smooth.  This left a little broth hanging in the pot but I wasn't upset about this because as the potatoes cooled they would absorb the extra broth.  Then I changed potatoes as we know than and added my special ingredient that made them creamy, smooth, rich and LOW FAT.

That's right!!!  The Laughing Cow swiss cheese!  They're already creamy and cheesy and at 35 calories a wedge, you won't notice that they're actually not bad for you. 

I left the wheels out so that they could warm up to about room temperature so they would melt easily.  I added 3 of them to the potatoes mashed with the chicken broth and allowed it to make amazing things happen.  The heat from the potatoes and pot slowly melted the wheels instantly thickening them up and making them luscious and velvety.  I then added a small pinch of garlic powder, a few shakes of kosher salt and fresh cracked pepper and the final ingredient that definitely made these potaters.  A tablespoon of fresh, not container variety, Parmesan cheese.  Since Parmesan is very unctuous and strong, the smallest amount is needed for it to provide a salty bite without overpowering all of the other flavors.  I was able to make great mashed potaters without a drop of milk, butter, or heavy cream...things that make mashed potatoes decadent but aren't very healthy.  I served them to my mother and she was in disbelief that I hadn't put any real fat in them and couldn't tell the difference.

You can't tell me those taters don't look thick and creamy and ready to be devoured...because they were, lol

Try these potaters SOON and you will be singing their glory also!  The Laughing Cow has many varieties of their cheese wedges so get creative and let me know what variations you come up with.  Happy eating!!!!

*The Laughing Cow wheel photograph used from www.thelaughingcow.com   

Recipe blog: Blackened catfish filet and beefy mushroom pasta

I'm on a roll...two posts in one night!!!  I'm focused maaaan, lol.  So, after receiving the WONDERFUL news that I'd won the FFC year of wellness competition, I decided that a celebratory dinner was definitely a necessity.  There was a time, not all that long ago, that would have meant dining out at my favorite restaurant.  As we now know, restaurants have become my enemy and honestly I crave the home cooked meals that I create in my kitchen.  When I say create, most of my meals I come up with in my head.  I sit and think about what flavors I want and from there I come up with a plan.  This day I wanted catfish fillets but I didn't want them fried...I wanted to elevate them.  People often frown upon the catfish because they say its "dirty" but if you season it and prepare it right it can be a gem.  That's when I decided to blacken it.  I also had a hankering for pasta but to cut back on the carbs decided to bulk it up with veggies.  Mushrooms and green beans were on sale and voila!  Dinner was decided!

This is my finished plate.  Blackened catfish fillet and beefy mushroom pasta and of course an ice cold seltzer water to top it off.

So now to tell you how I did it.  I would have preferred shallots in this pasta but since I already had a sweet onion, and was on a budget, that's what I used.  I chopped up the onion on the small side, as well as some cremini mushrooms and two portobello mushroom caps.  I sauteed this in a heavy bottomed skillet with a couple shakes of extra virgin olive oil.  As they begin to soften, I seasoned them with kosher salt, fresh cracked black pepper and red pepper flakes.  After about 5-7 minutes I added some healthy glugs of Worcestershire sauce.  This sauce is amazing and can be used in so many ways.  Most people use it to season beef and steaks.  Mushrooms can mirror the beefiness of meat and this flavor is called umami.  I wanted to play on this thus using the Worcestershire to simply highlight the umami flavor.  I let this cook down until most of the Worcestershire cooked out and then added about 3/4 of a cup of beef broth.  This added a richness and depth to that beefy flavor.  Everything came up to a soft bubble and I let it reduce so that the liquid could thicken some.  

Meanwhile, I focused on my fish.  In a ziploc bag I combined:

• 2 tablespoons of Old Bay seasoning
• 1 teaspoon of cumin
• 1 teaspoon of chili powder
• 1 teaspoon of smoked sweet paprika
• 1 teaspoon of onion powder
• 1/2 teaspoon of garlic powder 

Now you certainly can add or subtract spices as you see fit.  Typically I would have added some cayenne for spice, but I was making some for my father who can't have it so I just chose to omit it.  Surprisingly you don't need salt.  The Old Bay provides enough salt and any additional salt will alter the taste of the seasoning.  I also added a little fresh cracked black pepper but not too much because it can be a bit overpowering.  I put a medium high heat under a cast iron skillet and allowed it to get hot...I mean really hot.  I made sure my fillets were dry and sprinkled my seasoning with a heavy hand.  Since this is blackened catfish you want to make sure that you cover the top of the flesh VERY well.  After ensuring the skillet was hot enough I added a couple shakes of extra virgin olive oil and placed the fish flesh side down so they could sear.  While they are developing their crust you don't want to move or bother them because you risk tearing your fish.  When they are ready to be flipped they will let you know because they will have released from the skillet and you won't have any problems picking them up and flipping them.  I then put them in a 400 oven for 20 mins so they could finish cooking through.

By this time the liquid in my mushrooms had reduced my half and I added my prepped green beans.  To get them ready I just chopped off the ends and halved them.  I wanted them to cook a bit to get rid of some of that raw taste, but I wanted them to still have bite which is why I waited until the end to add them.  I boiled some whole grain thin spaghetti  to al dente and added it straight from the pot to the sauce and tossed it well.  I than allowed it to sit for a few moments so the pasta could continue to cook and absorb some of that fragrant and luscious sauce.  I took my fish out of the oven once it was firm to touch, gave it a squeeze of fresh lime juice to brighten up the flavors and it was dinner!!!  

The fish was deliciously moist and flaky.  It was so flavorful without being overpowering.  The seasonings were balanced and worked really well together, but the catfish was still the star of the dish.  The mushrooms tasted really hearty and earthy and the crispy beans gave a nice change in texture.  I ate the leftover pasta and mushrooms for lunch the next day and it was still delicious so it stores in the fridge well.  Please give this a try and let me know how it turns out!!!  Happy cooking!!!  

Shopping with Purpose

I forgot I was blind with that last post and made the letters entirely too small, lol.  Back to the large letters we go.  This post is going to show you how CHEAP, easy, CHEAP, plentiful and did I mention CHEAP food shopping can be.  

A few weeks ago I went out to food shop.  Food shopping is definitely an important vehicle in losing weight.  I find that the food I have in the house is the food I will eat.  This seems like a basic concept to understand but it's really not easy.  When we shop we are often swayed by sales, convenience and familiarity.  This is why I do most of my shopping at produce markets.  Everything is fresh and at it's peak so it doesn't have to be manipulated much before you eat it.  You have a vast assortment of food to choose from. Most importantly, and the thing that excites me the most, it's CHEAP!!!!  Because everything is fresh and the turnover is frequent, the prices are low, low, low.  

This is all of the food I got from one trip to the produce market!  This will last me for two weeks and even longer if I stretch everything out and store it properly.

Can you believe I got those baby heirloom tomatoes $1.50!??!?  Asian pears are my absolute FAV fruit and I got 2 1/2 pds of them for less than 5 bucks!

This is a starfruit and pommelo.  The produce market is a GREAT place to try new fruits and veggies.  I think I paid about a buck and a half for the starfruit and I was happy with the investment, lol.  It was tangy and very juicy.  The pommelo was like a thick skinned grapefruit and it only set me back $1.69.

These are the beginning of the best tomatillo salsa I'd ever had.  The recipe is really simple and easy.  Included are some hot cherry peppers, tomatillos, cilantro, and purple onion.  This made PLENTY!  I had enough for some flank steak tacos I made that evening and plenty to snack on for days to come.  Also in the back are some diet Hansen sodas.  I typically stay away from pop, diet or regular, and choose to drink water, seltzer and green tea.  For those times I want something a little different I like Hansen sodas because they're natrual, no dyes or anything, and they have awesome flavors.  I believe that day I purchased ginger ale, tangerine lime, and kiwi strawberry.  At $0.89 they were a bargain.

Now, I didn't buy this AT the produce market but it did come from a store that has a famously well-stocked produce section.  I like buying bulk garlic because I can be lazy and peeling garlic isn't always in the forecast.  Plus, this container cost like $3.00.  If you compare how much is in that container to how many bulbs you can get for that amount, you come out better getting it already prepped.  I don't know how well you can see my spinach, but it's there in the back.  I LOVE buying it this way because that whole container was $3.44 and I can use what I need and because it's in that lovely plastic container it keeps FOREVER!  Seriously, I was using that same spinach almost three weeks after I bought it and it was still fresh.  Also pictured is one of my favorite snacks...spinach dip.  You see the ginormous container of  it on top but it's blocking the well portioned amount along with the cucumbers, grape tomatoes and carrots.  It cost $6.00 but I often eat it for lunch and treat it like a salad so when I think of it that way the price is comparable to many fast food salads.

Yellow squash and zucchini how I love thee, lol.  These are my go to veggies for many reasons.  You can prepare them a million different healthy ways and they're just delicious.  You can leave them raw and add incredible bulk to any salad.  They last forever in a vegetable crisper drawer in your refrigerator and most importantly they're so inexpensive.  I got over three pounds of squash for just under $5.00.  

It embarrasses me to say these blackberries never made it in the fridge, lol.  I LOVE them so much they never do! They're sweet, juicy and a dieter's dream.  I will say I prefer them fresh opposed to putting them in my morning protein smoothies.  The seeds become a bit bothersome for me.  These delicious nuggets are made for snacking though!

This really has nothing to do with the price of tea in China (pun intended) but as I was putting all of my food up I came across my infuser pitcher and decided to share it with you.  My drink of choice is typically green tea.  It's low in caffeine which means I don't have to worry about having the jitters all day.  It's natural which is always a plus. I find that if I'm hungry and have about 4-8 oz that it suppresses my appetite. I like to get the flavored varieties so that I don't get tired of drinking the same thing and I have a little medley to choose from.  Plus, it helps boost your metabolism and anyone trying to lose weight can appreciate that.  I bought this infuser pitcher at Target for about $11.00.  If you look inside you can see the wand that encases whatever you place in there to infuse into your water.  I place the bags in there, fill the pitcher up and let it set typically overnight because I like for the flavor to bloom as long as it can.  If I'm looking to switch it up I take a seedless cucumber, scrape the middles out and place them inside the wand and you have refreshing cucumber water.   

Some other things that I bought that I didn't take a picture of were kale and swiss chard.  I've just recently got into swiss chard and it's one of my favorite veggies right now.  Very filling and tasty and easy to whip up.  Same with kale.  Kale is SO versatile.  I like it raw mixed in to bulk up my salads.  I like it sauteed with shallots and other fixings. I also like it baked with chili powder to make kale chips and a bunch was only $0.89!!! All that nutrition and deliciousness for under a dollar!  Even fast food drive thrus don't offer that!

These are my receipts from my shopping trip.  I tried to blow them up as well as I could so you could see how much everything actually cost.  The total for my shopping trip was $58.80!!!!  Being honest, when was the last time you were able to get enough food to last for 2 weeks for under $100.00???  I know some of you are saying, "Well, you didn't purchase any protein!"  I tend to buy protein as I need it so that nothing goes to waste.  I usually buy it from the seafood counter at the well-stocked grocery store and find that the prices are beyond reasonable.  A half pound of FRESH, medium, pre-prepped shrimp are $6.00. You can can get two meals out of a half pound of shrimp if you bulk it up with less expensive veggies. A filet of ruby red trout costs $4 or $5.00.  If you spend wisely, you can eat for two weeks using $100.00 or less, protein included.

I know this entry was a bit lengthy but it was something I really wanted to share with you all.  People can have you believing that taking charge of what goes in your body and making healthful decisions can ruin your pocketbook and that just isn't true.  For me, I am on an EXTREMELY fixed income and find that eating healthy is cheaper than shopping mainstream grocery stores.  It's all about shopping wisely and utilizing your resources.  In my ideal world I would grow a garden so that I can just go outside and harvest what I wanted to eat day to day...but until that happens you'll see me frequently strolling through the produce markets looking for the best deals.  I will post future grocery trips with different tips and food items and of course my receipts.  Until then, Happy Shopping!!!  

  

And the Winner Is...

Happy New Year lovies!!!! It has been awhile but I wanted to wait until I had good news to share before I began posting on a regular basis, and guess what...I WON THE CONTEST!!!!  After a month of anxiety and biting my nails I stuck it out and WON!  Now that it's over I can give all the deets.

*Clears throat* so, about a week after Thanksgiving, it very well may have been before then, my trainer is totally excited and telling me that the gym is going to be offering this contest for a year of free membership and because he knows my financial situation I could absolutely use that.  He tells me that I have to write an essay and have people vote for it.  So as he's telling me this I'm thinking to myself, "this man must not know me as well as I thought he did because this so isn't me, but I'll oblige him to make him happy."  I didn't have very many expectations going into it because it's no secret I have DEEP rooted trust issues and having to depend on other people to get me to the top puts me in a place of great discomfort.  In other words, I just don't think people are thinking about me and for the most part I'm actually okay with that.

So, he's keeping me abreast on the details and finally I get an email with the prize package...let me just say this.  This prize package is so beyond awesome that I'm still in disbelief about everything it entails. 

• One year membership to all nine Fitness Formula Clubs locations.
• Fifty-two private personal training sessions (one per week).
• Twelve private Pilates sessions (one per month).
• Twelve 60-minute massages (one per month).
• One year of Protein Bar blended drinks (one per week).
• One year subscription to CS Magazine. 
• One year supply of KIND Healthy Snack Bars.
• One year of healthy hydration: 12 cases of smartwater® 20oz, two cases of vitaminwater®,vitaminwater zero®, a smartwater® beach towel & smartwater® yoga mat.

They had me at the KIND bars and smartwater!!!  So after reading that, I knew that I had to dig down and try my best to win this because opportunities like this don't come around all the time.  Besides, my trainer believed I had the contest sowed up from the very beginning and I didn't want to disappoint him so, yea.  The contest went live on December 1st, 2012.  I waited a couple of days to get my "story" together and have a couple of people whose opinion I value critique it to make sure I didn't sound pitiful but successfully conveyed my message.  

December 4, 2012

All my life I’ve been…large. Chubby, chunky, pleasingly plump, that’s me. I can say that I’ve tried every diet, pill and shake known to man in the attempt to lose 100 pounds in one month. Needless to say, none of them worked. I turned 27 years old and my kidneys failed. I tried to sign up for the transplant registry and I couldn’t because I weighed too much. Talk about a blow to the ego. Now, losing weight wasn’t a vanity thing. It was necessary to improve my quality of life. In March ‘11 I got a membership at FFC using money I’d gotten as a birthday gift. Only problem was I’d never worked out before let alone been inside of a gym. The staff at FFC, especially my trainer, made me feel so safe and comfortable that I knew this was the start of something wonderful in my life. There are many days where I think I don’t feel well enough to make it in, but I know that pushing past that mindset is half the battle. Even if I get to the gym and I know I’m not at 100% I can still get out there and give whatever I have because I’m having fun and actually enjoying losing weight. When I initially tried to sign up for a transplant I needed to lose 120 pounds. Today, I am 50 pounds from my goal. After I reach my goal I plan to keep going because this has become a way of life for me. I’ve come to the gym feeling defeated and left feeling like I can accomplish anything. For me, fitness is a metaphor for life. It’s not easy, but if you’re committed to making it work the benefits are endless.

This was my official entry.  After it went live on December 4th, 2012 I basically had to campaign using any outlets I could to have people vote for me...and this was the MAJOR glitch in the matrix and why this whole thing stressed me out the way it did.  To reference something I mentioned earlier, I truly believe I am an afterthought to most.  This thought is rooted in the fact that I'm not an open person and don't share myself and the things that go on in my life with many people.  I was so determined to win this contest that I, QAT, got on Facebook and put AWL my business out for all 500+ of my friends to see.  Understand, I had family members who didn't know that I had kidney failure let alone sharing that with people I hadn't seen since I graduated from high school.  I remember that night after I posted it, I spent that night and well into the next day overcome with emotion and basically sobbing, lol.  To see the outpour of support and that people really cared about my well being, even now, is mind blowing.  I received SOOOOOO many notes saying I inspired people...like me!  I'm just out here trying to get some normalcy back in my life and having it touch people the way it did...I can't find the words to describe how that feels.  I even had someone inbox me and offer me a kidney.  All of this because I chose to step out of my box and be transparent for a change.  All of this because instead of trying to do everything on my own I decided to share myself and ask others for help.  This contest was more of a life lesson than I could have imagined.

As the contest went on, I would pray diligently that if this were for me then I would let God orchestrate it that way.  I would check my votes and they would increase and I had NO idea where the votes were coming from.  I somehow managed to stay in the top three, primarily in first place, throughout the 31 days.  I would later find out that there were people watching my votes harder than I was and making sure I stayed in the running.  I come thisclose to quitting a few times, not because I didn't think I could do it.  I would peruse through and find that the people I thought would support me most simply weren't and it planted a seed of defeat in me.  I eventually learned that I couldn't focus on them but instead maintain an attitude of gratitude for those who were determined to get me to the top and I was very surprised by the people who rooted for me from the beginning.  

As the thirty-one days started to dwindle, I started to REALLY think about this contest and what would happen if I won it.  I'll never forget.  They ran a segment on one of the major news channels about it and I remember how excited the anchor got about the prize package and just the contest in general and all I could think to myself was, "and I'm in the lead!!!"  I felt so humbled that I could actually be that close.  As it got closer to the end, I had to get very creative and really step outside myself trying to obtain votes.  I remember waking up a week before the contest was supposed to be over and saying, "I didn't come this far to just give up and give this thing away to these other contestants.  I'm going to fight until the very end," and that's what I did.  Most people spent their New Years Eve partying, having fun, celebrating...I was policing my votes and making sure I stayed campaigning and keeping myself in one of the three top spots.  I rang in the New Year in first place not realizing the real waiting was about to begin.

Days and weeks were passing and I hadn't heard anything.  I kind of felt like an idiot for doing all of this talking and yet I had nothing to share with people, lol.  Finally, I just let it go.  I prayed and told God that it was his will and there was nothing more I could do but live my life and remain faithful. So that brings me to Wednesday evening.

I'd had dialysis and drifted off into a very rare nap.  My cellphone began to chime and it woke me up.  It was my trainer.  The day before he told me that he would email corporate to find out when they would be announcing the results.  His text asked me if I'd heard anything.  I replied no, had he heard anything.  Basically, his response was that they had made a decision and they would be contacting the finalist either that evening or the next day to give them the news so I needed to keep my phone nearby.  So at this point I'm glued to my phone waiting.  I get to the gym the next day, still no call.  He's insistent that he doesn't know anything and that he's going to make sure that someone let me know something before the day's end.  So, I'm leaving the gym after finishing my cardio and I run into him on my way out and he asks me to stop by his office.  At this point I know somethings up.  I take more than enough time in the locker room to change my things, lol.  As I'm walking to his office I see the staff cheering and calling me a Superstar.  I start to infer he's heard something, lol.  To try and make this EXTREMELY long story go away, a guy from corporate comes in the office, verifies my identity and then congratulates me on being Fitness Formula Clubs' Year of Wellness winner!  I felt all the words knocked out of me, I made a few simple jokes to lighten things up but even now I'm speechless.

This contest has been much more to me than just that.  It has shown me that a lot of the time in my life I haven't tried or sought things because I'd given up before I tried.  I put myself out there and not only did I learn how many people really care about me, but I WON meaning there is no limit to what I can do and achieve if I just believe in myself a wee bit more.  This win is beginning a journey that I am so excited to begin.  I almost feel like I'll be the FFC poster girl for the next 12 months and I'm so excited to see how many other people I can encourage to get healthy, improve their quality of life and ENJOY doing it!!!  I am so blessed...I am so thankful...I don't feel worthy but I thank God that he has chosen me to fulfill this assignment.  I won't let him, FFC, or any of you that are rooting for me down.  Most importantly, I won't let me down.  So follow me and my blog on our way to the TOP!!!!!

*Prize list and entry insert provided by www.ffc.com