Loooooovies!!!! There has been soooooo many great things happening for me! I'm in utter disbelief that God has chosen me to experience all of this but I'm so grateful that his favor is upon me. I feel like the beginning of something BIG is starting to take form and I'm so ready to walk into my greatness!!!
After I began dialysis and quit my job, I realized that Social Services wasn't my destiny. I learned MANY life lessons and a lot about myself counseling the mentally ill but it and Psychology wasn't something I saw myself doing long term. So at the ripe age of 27 I was faced with that looming question..."What do I want to do with my life?" After getting involved with FFC and the Gift of Hope and seeing how my story effects people...after MANY nights of praying and crying out to God to speak to me about my purpose one day it randomly hit me...I want to go around the world sharing my life story with the hope to motivate people to be the best version of themselves. I want to help people to understand that the process of changing is NOT easy but it is so gratifying. I want to show people the beauty of going through your process so that you reach your destiny. Now the question is...how do I do that???
In the recent weeks I have been given some awesome opportunities to not only get my story out to others but my face also. This is important because once people can place a face with a name it brings a story to life. As part of the 2014 Year of Wellness promotion, there was an actual video clip made about me and my story. I'm going to include it in a separate post but the feedback I received from it was OVERwhelming. So many people became emotional hearing it and it means something to mean that I can touch others that way. I was asked to participate in FFC's commercial that will begin running in the new year. So many other things are in the works for 2014 and I'm just so excited about each and every opportunity!
And that brings me back to my destiny...until the world has heard my story I'm going to utilize every outlet that I can to essentially share myself...including this blog. With all of the recent attention, my baby has been gaining attention too! It's time I make it a priority so that when people take the time to read it, they are getting quality content and a real glimpse into me. I am going to start off by committing to blog twice a week. A recipe blog and a topic that is relevant to me at the time. Whether it's about my workouts (which have been brutal lately...but I can say that last week I ran for the first time in my life...PROUD PROUD moment!)...slacking off with my eating (this happens time to time...like today, lol)...life post-op once I have my tummy tuck...or just keeping myself encouraged to finish this journey.
It is my wish that you will continue with me as my life begins to gain momentum. This started out as a blog to document the road to getting a transplant but my life has turned into so much more!!! Join me as I walk into my destiny and let's see together just where it takes me :)
Sunday, December 22, 2013
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
Did he just say that to me???
Now, I usually don't go into detail about my doctor's appointments, simply because I don't see the need to, but this one was so bizarre, I would be doing you a GREAT injustice not to share.
So, this doctor is only in clinic for consultations on Monday afternoons...so I had to rearrange my dialysis treatment to be there at 1 pm...so, at 3 pm he still hadn't arrived to the clinic because he was at another hospital operating on a patient. So, I'm a bit frustrated because I had to go through A LOT to rearrange my treatment and at that point I'm thinking I may have to go through all of that again because this man may not show up. Moments later, a man with the wildest hair, several briefcases and a cane with an arm brace comes rushing past yelling, "If it were you on the table, you would want me to stay until I finished also!"...and all I could think was, this will be interesting.
I get in the examining room and the nurse tells me to get undressed from the waist up and put on a gown...that sounds about right to me since I'm there about my stomach. A couple minutes later the doctor comes in as I'm sitting on the examination table and motions for me to come to him. Okay. So now I'm standing in front of him and the next thing I know, this man starts to rip my gown off and tell me to drop my pants and underwear!!! I am a VERY modest person so it was so alarming to me that I starting pulling back asking him what the eff he was doing??? He says, "I need to see everything so I know where I need to cut!" Couldn't he simply have asked me to undress instead of taking it upon himself to do it for me? So, as I'm standing there a-hole naked in front of a man and nurse I don't know he begins poking and prodding at my stomach and asks me, "How did it get so big?????" I tell him, "That's why I'm here to see you sir, to get rid of it!" At this point, I KNOW this appointment ain't gonna be good. Next, he asks me to hold my stomach up and proceeds to tell me I have a scrotum. Did he really just say that to me????? I tell him, "NO I DON'T!!!" He then says that mine is bigger than his! At this point his nurse interjects to tell him he's being inappropriate and just plain crass. And then he took pictures so somewhere in that hospital, on an iPad there are a bunch of pictures that don't make me smile on the inside. He then show's me where he's going to cut and then says I have too much skin on my honeypot so he's going to cut that too so its proportionate, and he's going to do that as a favor to me. Look, NOBODY said anything about cutting my fig and pudding! It was served me well for 30 years...no complaints! I proceeded to get dress and haven't remembered what normal feels like since. I was absolutely traumatized and have no expectations for this surgery. Please keep me and my scrotum in your thoughts as we get ready to go under the knife in a few months. I swear I feel like these kind of things only happen to me, lol
So, this doctor is only in clinic for consultations on Monday afternoons...so I had to rearrange my dialysis treatment to be there at 1 pm...so, at 3 pm he still hadn't arrived to the clinic because he was at another hospital operating on a patient. So, I'm a bit frustrated because I had to go through A LOT to rearrange my treatment and at that point I'm thinking I may have to go through all of that again because this man may not show up. Moments later, a man with the wildest hair, several briefcases and a cane with an arm brace comes rushing past yelling, "If it were you on the table, you would want me to stay until I finished also!"...and all I could think was, this will be interesting.
I get in the examining room and the nurse tells me to get undressed from the waist up and put on a gown...that sounds about right to me since I'm there about my stomach. A couple minutes later the doctor comes in as I'm sitting on the examination table and motions for me to come to him. Okay. So now I'm standing in front of him and the next thing I know, this man starts to rip my gown off and tell me to drop my pants and underwear!!! I am a VERY modest person so it was so alarming to me that I starting pulling back asking him what the eff he was doing??? He says, "I need to see everything so I know where I need to cut!" Couldn't he simply have asked me to undress instead of taking it upon himself to do it for me? So, as I'm standing there a-hole naked in front of a man and nurse I don't know he begins poking and prodding at my stomach and asks me, "How did it get so big?????" I tell him, "That's why I'm here to see you sir, to get rid of it!" At this point, I KNOW this appointment ain't gonna be good. Next, he asks me to hold my stomach up and proceeds to tell me I have a scrotum. Did he really just say that to me????? I tell him, "NO I DON'T!!!" He then says that mine is bigger than his! At this point his nurse interjects to tell him he's being inappropriate and just plain crass. And then he took pictures so somewhere in that hospital, on an iPad there are a bunch of pictures that don't make me smile on the inside. He then show's me where he's going to cut and then says I have too much skin on my honeypot so he's going to cut that too so its proportionate, and he's going to do that as a favor to me. Look, NOBODY said anything about cutting my fig and pudding! It was served me well for 30 years...no complaints! I proceeded to get dress and haven't remembered what normal feels like since. I was absolutely traumatized and have no expectations for this surgery. Please keep me and my scrotum in your thoughts as we get ready to go under the knife in a few months. I swear I feel like these kind of things only happen to me, lol
For All the Wrong Reasons...
Hello my lovies!!! While I sit and enjoy my snack of mandarin oranges mixed with pineapple greek yogurt (it will change your life), I decided to share my thoughts.
Soooooo, my tummy tuck has been scheduled. It's not for about another 3 months *rolls eyes* but my Dad will be having surgery next week so that gives us plenty of time to get him all mended first. Now, let us talk about this tucketh of my tummy.
It's not a secret that I have a STRONG dislike for my butt in the front. My stomach has been large my entire life and having it go away has always been a wish of mine. I wasn't the chubby girl who was lucky to be thick at the bottom...mine sat right in front for the WORLD to see! I knew that when I started this weight loss journey that my stomach probably would not disappear the way many people's do...only because it was so much...and I was right. I've mentioned that because of this, I don't like taking full length pictures. While the rest of me looks very different (although maybe not as different as I thought, but I'll save that for a future post), my stomach just hasn't caught up. There is some definite progress, just not enough. In dealing with that, it got me to thinking about body issues in general.
Quiet as it's kept, a lot of women lose weight for superficial reasons...maybe that's not so quiet, lol. Some women do it to look better, some do it to make themselves more attractive to people...I've even known women who've lost weight hoping that it will help them to get married. The best reason to lose weight is for yourself, because it can open a Pandora's box of other issues. For instance, I've lost a substantial amount of weight. I was ecstatic because I felt my body would look better and I would be a little more confident in showing it. I didn't know that a whole new set of insecurities could creep in and settle themselves. Because I've lost a lot of weight, I have skin. It just hangs...ripples a bit...you could liken it to raw chicken on a bad day. Now, I know over time as I continue to work out and lift that it will tone up but that doesn't exactly help me today. So before my insecurity was being heavy...now my insecurity is loose skin...do you see where I'm going with this? No matter what, there will be something that physically you may not like about yourself, so if you're losing weight for the wrong reasons you will end up disappointed. If I was losing weight for a man, the LAST thing I would want him to see is me looking like a Perdue whole fryer, lol. That's why you have to be comfortable in the skin that you're in.
Well, that statement may make you wonder, "Then why are you having the tummy tuck?!??" I'm so glad you asked! One, it will make putting the kidney in easier once I have my transplant, thus making it medically necessary. But my biggest point is if that tummy tuck wasn't an option, I would have to be comfortable in the skin that I was in, butt in the front or not. I can eat clean to lean out my abs and do all types of ab work to define and shape them, but if I wasn't meant to have a washboard stomach, I would just have to accept it. I can be honest...I am tall and curveless...except for my chest, lol. I don't have a curvy shape that many women are pumping their bodies full of foreign matter to get and I'm okay with that. Now, in no way am I putting down anyone who chooses to alter their bodies to feel more comfortable in their skin. What I am saying is check your motives for WHY you're doing it...is it for you? If you were forced to live your life without that procedure, could you do it? I understand this tummy tuck is not a quick fix and that afterwards I will still be chubby and need to lose additional weight...and I am okay with that. We have to make sure we aren't being fueled by all of the wrong reasons.
So, February 25th is the day lovies!!! Until then, I will still train hard, eat right (most of the time) and keep on this journey because it's for a lifetime.
Soooooo, my tummy tuck has been scheduled. It's not for about another 3 months *rolls eyes* but my Dad will be having surgery next week so that gives us plenty of time to get him all mended first. Now, let us talk about this tucketh of my tummy.
It's not a secret that I have a STRONG dislike for my butt in the front. My stomach has been large my entire life and having it go away has always been a wish of mine. I wasn't the chubby girl who was lucky to be thick at the bottom...mine sat right in front for the WORLD to see! I knew that when I started this weight loss journey that my stomach probably would not disappear the way many people's do...only because it was so much...and I was right. I've mentioned that because of this, I don't like taking full length pictures. While the rest of me looks very different (although maybe not as different as I thought, but I'll save that for a future post), my stomach just hasn't caught up. There is some definite progress, just not enough. In dealing with that, it got me to thinking about body issues in general.
Quiet as it's kept, a lot of women lose weight for superficial reasons...maybe that's not so quiet, lol. Some women do it to look better, some do it to make themselves more attractive to people...I've even known women who've lost weight hoping that it will help them to get married. The best reason to lose weight is for yourself, because it can open a Pandora's box of other issues. For instance, I've lost a substantial amount of weight. I was ecstatic because I felt my body would look better and I would be a little more confident in showing it. I didn't know that a whole new set of insecurities could creep in and settle themselves. Because I've lost a lot of weight, I have skin. It just hangs...ripples a bit...you could liken it to raw chicken on a bad day. Now, I know over time as I continue to work out and lift that it will tone up but that doesn't exactly help me today. So before my insecurity was being heavy...now my insecurity is loose skin...do you see where I'm going with this? No matter what, there will be something that physically you may not like about yourself, so if you're losing weight for the wrong reasons you will end up disappointed. If I was losing weight for a man, the LAST thing I would want him to see is me looking like a Perdue whole fryer, lol. That's why you have to be comfortable in the skin that you're in.
Well, that statement may make you wonder, "Then why are you having the tummy tuck?!??" I'm so glad you asked! One, it will make putting the kidney in easier once I have my transplant, thus making it medically necessary. But my biggest point is if that tummy tuck wasn't an option, I would have to be comfortable in the skin that I was in, butt in the front or not. I can eat clean to lean out my abs and do all types of ab work to define and shape them, but if I wasn't meant to have a washboard stomach, I would just have to accept it. I can be honest...I am tall and curveless...except for my chest, lol. I don't have a curvy shape that many women are pumping their bodies full of foreign matter to get and I'm okay with that. Now, in no way am I putting down anyone who chooses to alter their bodies to feel more comfortable in their skin. What I am saying is check your motives for WHY you're doing it...is it for you? If you were forced to live your life without that procedure, could you do it? I understand this tummy tuck is not a quick fix and that afterwards I will still be chubby and need to lose additional weight...and I am okay with that. We have to make sure we aren't being fueled by all of the wrong reasons.
So, February 25th is the day lovies!!! Until then, I will still train hard, eat right (most of the time) and keep on this journey because it's for a lifetime.
Monday, November 4, 2013
A Couple of Forevers....
Lovies!!!! This post is going to be a bit different. The basis of my blog is taking you through the transplant process with me. As I've gotten into this I've realized that sharing certain things has proven to be cathartic for me. This post will be about...love. This topic is VERY difficult for me to share and be transparent about because I'm a firm believer in keeping my business just that...my business. While I won't divulge everything I've been through blow by blow, I will address my evolution in how I approach love and how I learned to accept it.
This whole post comes from watching one of my ABSOLUTE favorite movies, Just Wright. It stars Common, Queen Latifah and Paula Patton. The synopsis is Common plays a professional basketball player, Scott McKnight, who is like the Michael Jordan of the league. Queen Latifah plays Leslie Wright, a physical therapist extraordinaire and die hard Scott McKnight fan. Her godsister, Morgan, lives with her with the aspiration to "be somebody" which translates to finding a "baller" and becoming a basketball wife. After a chance meeting in a gas station, Scott invites Leslie to his birthday party and Leslie brings Morgan along. After playing hard to get, Scott and Morgan fall in love and he proposes to her. Shortly after, he injures his knee and it could be a career ending injury. Morgan solicits Leslie to move in and become Scott's full time physical therapist. During his recuperation, Morgan dumps Scott out of the blue not even saying goodbye, only leaving a letter and the engagement ring. Leslie remains to rehab Scott and pulls him out of his heartbroken slump. She encourages him, believes in him and unbeknownst to the viewer, they begin to fall in love. Scott eventually returns to the court to a rough start. After a pep talk from Leslie, he goes out there and doesn't miss a beat. To celebrate, Scott takes Leslie out to a fancy dinner, refurbishes her Mustang and the night ends with kisses and a little more. Leslie awakens the next morning to Morgan popping up at the house begging Scott to give her another chance. Leslie overhears the conversation, and tells Scott that being his friend just isn't good enough for her. Soon after, word travels through the NBA about her stellar work and she receives numerous offers from various teams to be an athletic trainer...including Scott's team. As Scott gives an interview he explains that what got him through the tough times of rehabbing was Leslie. She made the worst three months of his life the best. She made him laugh. She believed in him and was his cheerleader when he didn't believe in himself. He leaves the interview in to find her and Morgan, who watched the whole thing from behind the scenes tells Scott where Leslie is. He finds her, pours his heart out to her and tells her, she's just right for him. She immediately calls and takes the trainer position for his team, they get married and live happily ever after.
I hope you caught all of that, lol. Anyway, I LOOOOOVE this movie for so many reasons. When I see Leslie Wright, I see myself. Sports fanatic...laid back girl but knows when to turn her femininity on...tall, thick chick...not plain, not glamorous but possessing her own beauty...guys always seem to think she makes the perfect "friend" because she's so chill...and on the pursuit to find that man who can't live without her. My favorite part about this movie is that FOR ONCE, that girl got the guy. Not just any guy but THE guy. Leslie's own mother tried to dissuade her from going after Scott because "she wasn't the kind of girl to end up with that type of guy"...why can't she end up with that type of guy? I've dated some real dingleberries in my lifetime because I didn't think I deserved "that guy" but I've come to a realization...why can't I have him? Because it doesn't fit into societal ideas about who I should end up with? Society paints a picture that you have to be a fashion model to get a certain caliber of man and I'm here to tell you I REFUSE to give in to that anymore. I deserve the tallest, most attractive, most successful man out there because I am a good woman and would be good to that man. I'm not out here trying to make a career out of his fame or success. And I'm not saying you should seek out a guy because of who he is. What I am saying is don't sell yourself short because people feel someone is "out of your league"...we sell ourselves short everyday. God has his absolute best for you so don't settle for what feels comfortable...choose what feels magical. When I pray to God for love I always tell him I want an extraordinary love. If it's a janitor or Adam Richman (who I have such an unhealthy crush on, lol)...just let it be the man you have for me. Who says that Adam Richman won't fall head over heels in love with me...because I'm not famous? Because I'm not a size 2 with blonde hair flowing down my back? I believe he can love me because my heart is pure and sincere.
The best thing I ever did for myself was to block out the offerings of others and listen to my own heart. Love will find me when I am ready. Until then, I will continue to be the wonderful me that I am and keep believing that God is molding his best just for me...and he's doing the same for you. Love yourself Lovies...and love will find you <3
This whole post comes from watching one of my ABSOLUTE favorite movies, Just Wright. It stars Common, Queen Latifah and Paula Patton. The synopsis is Common plays a professional basketball player, Scott McKnight, who is like the Michael Jordan of the league. Queen Latifah plays Leslie Wright, a physical therapist extraordinaire and die hard Scott McKnight fan. Her godsister, Morgan, lives with her with the aspiration to "be somebody" which translates to finding a "baller" and becoming a basketball wife. After a chance meeting in a gas station, Scott invites Leslie to his birthday party and Leslie brings Morgan along. After playing hard to get, Scott and Morgan fall in love and he proposes to her. Shortly after, he injures his knee and it could be a career ending injury. Morgan solicits Leslie to move in and become Scott's full time physical therapist. During his recuperation, Morgan dumps Scott out of the blue not even saying goodbye, only leaving a letter and the engagement ring. Leslie remains to rehab Scott and pulls him out of his heartbroken slump. She encourages him, believes in him and unbeknownst to the viewer, they begin to fall in love. Scott eventually returns to the court to a rough start. After a pep talk from Leslie, he goes out there and doesn't miss a beat. To celebrate, Scott takes Leslie out to a fancy dinner, refurbishes her Mustang and the night ends with kisses and a little more. Leslie awakens the next morning to Morgan popping up at the house begging Scott to give her another chance. Leslie overhears the conversation, and tells Scott that being his friend just isn't good enough for her. Soon after, word travels through the NBA about her stellar work and she receives numerous offers from various teams to be an athletic trainer...including Scott's team. As Scott gives an interview he explains that what got him through the tough times of rehabbing was Leslie. She made the worst three months of his life the best. She made him laugh. She believed in him and was his cheerleader when he didn't believe in himself. He leaves the interview in to find her and Morgan, who watched the whole thing from behind the scenes tells Scott where Leslie is. He finds her, pours his heart out to her and tells her, she's just right for him. She immediately calls and takes the trainer position for his team, they get married and live happily ever after.
I hope you caught all of that, lol. Anyway, I LOOOOOVE this movie for so many reasons. When I see Leslie Wright, I see myself. Sports fanatic...laid back girl but knows when to turn her femininity on...tall, thick chick...not plain, not glamorous but possessing her own beauty...guys always seem to think she makes the perfect "friend" because she's so chill...and on the pursuit to find that man who can't live without her. My favorite part about this movie is that FOR ONCE, that girl got the guy. Not just any guy but THE guy. Leslie's own mother tried to dissuade her from going after Scott because "she wasn't the kind of girl to end up with that type of guy"...why can't she end up with that type of guy? I've dated some real dingleberries in my lifetime because I didn't think I deserved "that guy" but I've come to a realization...why can't I have him? Because it doesn't fit into societal ideas about who I should end up with? Society paints a picture that you have to be a fashion model to get a certain caliber of man and I'm here to tell you I REFUSE to give in to that anymore. I deserve the tallest, most attractive, most successful man out there because I am a good woman and would be good to that man. I'm not out here trying to make a career out of his fame or success. And I'm not saying you should seek out a guy because of who he is. What I am saying is don't sell yourself short because people feel someone is "out of your league"...we sell ourselves short everyday. God has his absolute best for you so don't settle for what feels comfortable...choose what feels magical. When I pray to God for love I always tell him I want an extraordinary love. If it's a janitor or Adam Richman (who I have such an unhealthy crush on, lol)...just let it be the man you have for me. Who says that Adam Richman won't fall head over heels in love with me...because I'm not famous? Because I'm not a size 2 with blonde hair flowing down my back? I believe he can love me because my heart is pure and sincere.
The best thing I ever did for myself was to block out the offerings of others and listen to my own heart. Love will find me when I am ready. Until then, I will continue to be the wonderful me that I am and keep believing that God is molding his best just for me...and he's doing the same for you. Love yourself Lovies...and love will find you <3
Sunday, November 3, 2013
A Change Is a Brewing...
Lovies!!!! It's been awhile since I just blogged my feelings so, here it goes:
The year is almost over. That means a lot to me. I can remember this time last year praying & crying out to God because it felt like he had forgotten about me. When I say that, it just felt like I was stuck...going nowhere in particular...stagnant if you will. Around this time last year is also when the Year of Wellness was introduced to me. I remember thinking, "Something good has to happen for me at some time, why not this". I NEVER could have dreamed that this year would unfold the way that it did. Not only did God NOT forget about me, he has taken me on a path I never could have imagined. This year has been full of surprises, life changing opportunities, a little heartbreak but we'll talk about that later, lol, but most of all it's been about change.
Most people don't like change, I was one of them. I realized though, it wasn't the change I didn't like. It was the process that I most often went through that was the problem. You see, with change its not convenient to when YOU want it to happen. It doesn't conform to what make you comfortable. It's about pushing your boundaries and transforming you, if you allow it. I liken it to the proverbial coal. Put it under pressure, it turns into a diamond. Right now, I've been polished, my facets cut and the light is hitting me so that I shine to the world. I appreciate everything that I've been through. It may have SUCKED at the time, but its made me who I am today and I wouldn't trade that in for the world. I'm not perfect, but I'm a good person and it shows. That's worth more than anything to me.
So, I'm embracing another change...tummy tuck surgery. As some of my weight loss lovies know, you can exercise until you pass out and some places on your body won't change. My legs are toned (they are looking amazing actually, lol), my face is smaller, I have baby guns peeking out my arms, but my stomach honey, let me tell you. This butt in the front is going NOWHERE!!! It's tight up under there, but that means nothing if you have skin hanging to your knees covering it up, lol. So, I WELCOME this tummy tuck. I've been in a hate/hate relationship with my stomach my entire life so it feels like God answered my prayers. I will continue to eat right and exercise AFTER my procedure to continue losing weight and tone up. Let me explain it this way...I love taking pics from the chest up because I look like a completely different person. I love how my legs photograph...but I DETEST full length pictures because when I look at them all I see is my stomach and it makes me feel like I haven't lost a single pound. I've worked hard and I want to be able to look at myself and see that hard work translated. NO ONE should have to live with a butt in the front if they don't want to, lol.
I'm also going to chop all my hair off, but I'll save those details until it's done. I feel like this was vague, but I just wanted to share how I'm feeling without giving away too much information. Hopefully you get an idea of the road I'm traveling and understand how AWESOME it is and how grateful I am to be chosen to take it...until we meet again Lovies!!! Love you, inside and out <3
The year is almost over. That means a lot to me. I can remember this time last year praying & crying out to God because it felt like he had forgotten about me. When I say that, it just felt like I was stuck...going nowhere in particular...stagnant if you will. Around this time last year is also when the Year of Wellness was introduced to me. I remember thinking, "Something good has to happen for me at some time, why not this". I NEVER could have dreamed that this year would unfold the way that it did. Not only did God NOT forget about me, he has taken me on a path I never could have imagined. This year has been full of surprises, life changing opportunities, a little heartbreak but we'll talk about that later, lol, but most of all it's been about change.
Most people don't like change, I was one of them. I realized though, it wasn't the change I didn't like. It was the process that I most often went through that was the problem. You see, with change its not convenient to when YOU want it to happen. It doesn't conform to what make you comfortable. It's about pushing your boundaries and transforming you, if you allow it. I liken it to the proverbial coal. Put it under pressure, it turns into a diamond. Right now, I've been polished, my facets cut and the light is hitting me so that I shine to the world. I appreciate everything that I've been through. It may have SUCKED at the time, but its made me who I am today and I wouldn't trade that in for the world. I'm not perfect, but I'm a good person and it shows. That's worth more than anything to me.
So, I'm embracing another change...tummy tuck surgery. As some of my weight loss lovies know, you can exercise until you pass out and some places on your body won't change. My legs are toned (they are looking amazing actually, lol), my face is smaller, I have baby guns peeking out my arms, but my stomach honey, let me tell you. This butt in the front is going NOWHERE!!! It's tight up under there, but that means nothing if you have skin hanging to your knees covering it up, lol. So, I WELCOME this tummy tuck. I've been in a hate/hate relationship with my stomach my entire life so it feels like God answered my prayers. I will continue to eat right and exercise AFTER my procedure to continue losing weight and tone up. Let me explain it this way...I love taking pics from the chest up because I look like a completely different person. I love how my legs photograph...but I DETEST full length pictures because when I look at them all I see is my stomach and it makes me feel like I haven't lost a single pound. I've worked hard and I want to be able to look at myself and see that hard work translated. NO ONE should have to live with a butt in the front if they don't want to, lol.
I'm also going to chop all my hair off, but I'll save those details until it's done. I feel like this was vague, but I just wanted to share how I'm feeling without giving away too much information. Hopefully you get an idea of the road I'm traveling and understand how AWESOME it is and how grateful I am to be chosen to take it...until we meet again Lovies!!! Love you, inside and out <3
Saturday, October 19, 2013
Be My Guest....Again
Well, it looks like someone took the summer off, lol. Hello my Lovies! Its been about 4 months since my last post. So you know that means I shall be giving you a novel. So really INCREDIBLE things have happened over the past few months that I can't wait to share with you....so let's get to it:
1. Unfortunately I haven't lost any weight in the last four months...but I have lost hella inches!!! This brings me to my first soapbox...STOP BEING NUMBERS OBSESSED!!! DO NOT let the scale dictate how well you're progressing on your journey. I have a million and one factors that force my numbers to fluctuate. Yet, my clothes continue to get bigger and my body is the smallest its ever been. When I look in the mirror I don't even recognize myself. I'm finally at the stage of seeing a dramatic change. I remain consistent and when I feel myself getting off track, I sit and figure out what has changed. I will always live by the motto "Progress not perfection"
2. I've been doing a lot of work with the Gift of Hope which is an organ procurement organization here in Illinois. I've had the opportunity to speak at a few events advocating the importance of organ donation and encouraging others to sign up to be a donor. I am sooooooo grateful that God has orchestrated this relationship because the things I've experienced are mind blowing. They're implementing a program in high schools where they'll be showing a video of a transplant candidate/recipient explaining why organ donation is important. I was blessed with the opportunity to be one of the people filmed in hopes that my story will be picked and shown.
This is a picture of me giving my speech and afterwards having a candid moment with one of the awesome Gift of Hope staffers.
But the highlight of this summer and maybe of the year....I GOT TO GO TO A BEARS GAME!!! Let me tell you, I was given the ULTIMATE Bears experience and was able to share it with others!!! I was picked to participate in the 4th phase flag ceremony, where we basically were on field with a HUGE Bears flag welcoming the team on the field!!! UN-FREAKING-REAL!!! I got the chance to stand on the field with Chicago Bears great Dick Butkus amongst others. Of course I have loads of pics but I'll share the best ones, lol
1. Unfortunately I haven't lost any weight in the last four months...but I have lost hella inches!!! This brings me to my first soapbox...STOP BEING NUMBERS OBSESSED!!! DO NOT let the scale dictate how well you're progressing on your journey. I have a million and one factors that force my numbers to fluctuate. Yet, my clothes continue to get bigger and my body is the smallest its ever been. When I look in the mirror I don't even recognize myself. I'm finally at the stage of seeing a dramatic change. I remain consistent and when I feel myself getting off track, I sit and figure out what has changed. I will always live by the motto "Progress not perfection"
2. I've been doing a lot of work with the Gift of Hope which is an organ procurement organization here in Illinois. I've had the opportunity to speak at a few events advocating the importance of organ donation and encouraging others to sign up to be a donor. I am sooooooo grateful that God has orchestrated this relationship because the things I've experienced are mind blowing. They're implementing a program in high schools where they'll be showing a video of a transplant candidate/recipient explaining why organ donation is important. I was blessed with the opportunity to be one of the people filmed in hopes that my story will be picked and shown.
These are a few shots I was able to capture before filming began. The whole experience was absolutely surreal. Even if my story isn't chosen, to be considered was absolutely humbling.
I also got to speak to a crowd of medical professionals about the importance and impact of organ donation. Among the speakers for that day were Secretary of State Jesse White. To be on the same agenda as him...I have no words!
This is a copy of the official agenda for the day.
This is a picture of me giving my speech and afterwards having a candid moment with one of the awesome Gift of Hope staffers.
But the highlight of this summer and maybe of the year....I GOT TO GO TO A BEARS GAME!!! Let me tell you, I was given the ULTIMATE Bears experience and was able to share it with others!!! I was picked to participate in the 4th phase flag ceremony, where we basically were on field with a HUGE Bears flag welcoming the team on the field!!! UN-FREAKING-REAL!!! I got the chance to stand on the field with Chicago Bears great Dick Butkus amongst others. Of course I have loads of pics but I'll share the best ones, lol
The cutest little Bear fan...I was READY!!!
Waiting with the other 4th Phase participants...it rained that day, but I didn't feel a drop, lol
The schedule and the moment it all became real!
Waiting in the tunnel to walk out onto the field...I was so excited
The much coveted flag. At this point I was just trying to remember all the instructions so that I didn't mess up, lol
Walking the Chicago Bear's field en route to get in place
Yes...this really happened
Two of the most awesomest people as we unfolded the flag to welcome our CHICAGO BEARS!!!!
THE CHICAGO BEARS!!!!
The Bears setting up their first touchdown
TOUCHDOOOOOOWN!!!
Number 33 is Charles "Peanut" Tillman. It's because of him I was able to have this awesome experience. His daughter had a life saving heart transplant as an infant. Mr. Tillman pays his gratitude forward by being involved with the Gift of Hope among other organ donation organizations. I salute you Mr. Tillman!
Devin Hester hyping up the crowd!
BEARS WIIIIIN!!! Vikings who, lol
As you can see, I HAD A BALL!!! It's an experience I will never forget and will hard to match! Next Saturday I am scheduled to speak at another Gift of Hope even honoring the families who've made the ultimate sacrifice of donating their deceased loved one's organs. My goal is to have them understand how grateful we are for their unselfish decision to help others.
3. This year instead of volunteering for the Gift of Life walk, I ACTUALLY WALKED. It was a 5k and I finished in about an hour (including a 15 minute break, lol). I walked by myself, threw on my tunes and was focused. I never dreamed I could finish something like this, but as I've learned over the past couple years, I can do anything I put my mind to. To see that finish line, I've never been so happy to finish something in my life, lol. Next year, maybe I'll run instead of walk...maybe I need to focus on taking baby steps, lol
The starting line...I had no idea what I was in for, lol
"ONE step at a time to help Fight chronic kidney disease"
How amazing is this view of Lake Michigan!!!
I FINISHED!!! Now where is some water and a soft patch of grass to pass out in, lol
This is my "it hurts" face. I got nice and tanned too...wasn't complaining about that!
4. I was invited as a special guest at the Fitness Formula Clubs employee party this year. I was asked to come and speak about my journey to show the employees the impact they can have in a client's life. This night was easily one of the best experiences of my life. I know I was there to encourage them, but they gave me much more in return. To see so many people who may not know me personally yet they are SO invested in my journey and so excited about the progress I've made makes me so emotional every time I think about it. I'm so grateful to everyone at FFC for supporting me and keeping me focused on this journey. I don't think I can say thank you enough, so I will spend the rest of my life trying.
A picture of my trainer, myself and the man who birthed the Year of Wellness competition, Jeff Riney. I'm so grateful for these two who believe in me and keep me encouraged because they find inspiration in my story.
Unfortunately, my reign as the inaugural Year of Wellness winner is coming to an end :(. Winning this contest opened up Pandora's box of blessings for me this year. Prayerfully, it may not be over just yet and I can't WAIT to share more details about that. Keep your fingers crossed for me.
5. I've been diligent in keeping up with my transplant process. Attending seminars to stay as informed as I can. Next month I have an appointment with the plastic surgeon for my consultation for the tummy tuck. Can we say YES GAWD!!!! LoL! I realized last week that while the rest of my body has gone through a noticeable transformation, my stomach still resembles a butt in the front. Granted, I have some loose skin on my arms and legs that I know I can tighten and tone but this stomach...it makes me feel like I haven't lost an inch. I detest taking full body pictures because a girdle can only do so much magic. This tummy tuck is truly for me and to help me feel better about the progress I have made. I know that I won't be "model perfect" afterwards, but for me it will validate the progress that I know I've worked hard to make. If God says the same, hopefully I will be starting 2014 a lot more svelte and able to buy jeans that fit my waist AND my legs, lol
This picture blows my mind...the difference a year can make.
This is my favorite picture of myself. When I look at this girl, I see a beautiful person. I honestly don't recognize her and it's not just about the physical transformation. This girl is now a woman who knows who she is and makes no apologies for it. She is determined to make her mark in this world because she lives by this mantra:
So, as you can see I've been UBER busy over the past few months with awesome things. Of course I've continued cooking and have tons of pics to share with the recipes to follow but because this post is already lengthy, I will make it a separate post. I missed you guys and hope you feel all caught up! I'll be back sooner than you think *winks*...Be great Lovies and love you just the way you are <3
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Chicken Vino Bianco
Lovies!!!! So long...so much to tell. But instead of boring you tonight, I'm going to share that Chicken Vino Bianco recipe that I made. Dare I say it was better than Olive Garden???!?!? No, I won't run tail out with it, but it was GOOD!!!! Here it goes:
I promise that I won't stay away like that again. I also give my word that once I process through everything and get a little stronger to share what has kept me from my baby. I missed sharing my milestones, successes and failures with you guys. Here's staying being strong and staying true to you. Love yourself everlastingly lovies!
I did want to add a note…if you aren't a drinker, like myself, you may find that cup of wine a bit overwhelming…you can cut it with chicken broth…I find that using half wine half broth is the perfect balance for me
My plating was a bit subpar, but it was delicious just the same.
A closer look. I don't have a concise recipe like usual, but I am more than willing to share the instructions. Boil some whole grain linguine to a bit shy of al dente and set aside. I took two chicken cutlets and seasoned them with salt and pepper. I then coated them with flour and sauteed them in a couple shakes of olive oil until golden brown. I removed them and added to the remaining oil mushrooms, tomatoes, purple onions, and garlic. I didn't give specific amounts because this is up to your taste. If you like mushrooms, add as many as you'd like. If you're an onion person, add them until your hearts content. After they soften up a bit, add a cup of white wine and the juice of half a lemon. Personally, I added the juice of a whole lemon but we know I have an acid addiction. Next, add a handful of fresh chopped parsley and check your sauce for salt and pepper. Let the wine cook out and reduce. Add the chicken back into the skillet to allow it to finish cooking and the flour from the chicken will naturally thicken the sauce up some. Once it has reduced, add a couple pats of unsalted butter to thicken the sauce more and help it coat the pasta. What pasta you ask? That whole grain linguine you set aside. Add it to the sauce and allow them to marry for a couple of minutes. Plate the pasta, top with the chicken and veggies and you're eating kid!
Yea, it was good, lol
I tried a variation with shrimp...shrimp vino bianco...I broke every food rule and sprinkled it with some grated parm...I'm sorry food Gods, lol
I promise that I won't stay away like that again. I also give my word that once I process through everything and get a little stronger to share what has kept me from my baby. I missed sharing my milestones, successes and failures with you guys. Here's staying being strong and staying true to you. Love yourself everlastingly lovies!
I did want to add a note…if you aren't a drinker, like myself, you may find that cup of wine a bit overwhelming…you can cut it with chicken broth…I find that using half wine half broth is the perfect balance for me
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